October 03, 2009

Time to say Goodbye to a friend...

I was in love with someone from some couple of months. I thought this gal would be in my life forever. She was indeed(that what I think), so I thought, just the perfect person for me. The relationship started out with sweet sms, emails, sketches, poems and numerous acts of kindness.

A close friend of mine told me that she saw her in a cinema hall, where she was sitting on the back sit and making love with a guy. A week back, I went to a McDonald’s where my friend told me to check and I found her sitting close to that guy with hand in hand . This confirmed everything that I had been thinking.

I never wanted to let her go because deep down inside I wanted her to change. Yesterday I saw her with that guy (...who is a big flirt and surely using her) and when I called her that guy picked the call and then forced her to say that she was not intrested in talking to me , I realized that I was fighting a losing battle. Sometimes as a emotional men(...u can say emotional fool), I don’t place high enough value on myself and I settle for gal that I actually don’t belong with.

I had to take a long, good look at myself and ask myself, what was missing in my life that I felt like I needed to continue to be used and abused. Letting go of this relationship is one of the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Each day has been a big “what if.” What if I’m wrong or what if she changes. I am happy to say that I am moving on and if you are in a relationship like this, I encourage you to do the same. Saying goodbye to my lover, colleague and one of my best friend was destructive, but I had to do it. I’ve cried a lot and have been angry at myself for even getting involved with this gal. The warning signs were there and I kept ignoring them. I didn’t realize that I was strong enough to walk away.

If you are reading this blog and you haven’t said goodbye to an unhealthy relationship, you are not alone. You can’t do it alone. It takes prayer and support. I had to move from crying and whining to praising Thakurji (Lord Krishna) for bringing me out of it. Praise makes the heart merry. When I start thinking about it and my heart gets sad, I begin saying Thakurji, “I thank you for delivering me from the death and danger of this relationship. Thank you Thakurji for opening my eyes. Thank you that you are giving me another chance to live my life.” Just as Thakurji has been merciful unto me, he will do the same for you. I like to thank my friends Panchi, Shaky, Ekta, Shwets’, Silvi, Arsh, VJ and Robin for their humble support at this point of time.

It’s time to say goodbye **o*i* (…her pet name).

no Cheers this time,
-K Himaanshu Meehirs'Shukla...


Manas Mahodaya said...

hey whats up man .. dont worry ...:) just take note

you write nice blogs , just try to innovate dont be too personnal .

Anonymous said...

Mehu my dear brother you have taken a right decision at the right time. I m always there for you, don’t worry n keep smiling :)

Yours brother,

Anonymous said...

Hey Meehir,
Sorry 2 here abt this, but u know Mehu everything happens 4 a reason. I keep telling u dumbo that don’t make her a priority bcos she consider u as an option. My dearest frnd u made a right decision. Everything will be all right after sometime.

Hugs n kisses

Anonymous said...

Tht gal is ur colleague in corelixir????

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