To Make You Feel My Love...

Sara…one of my close friend, called me when I was about to finish my breakfast. I was in the office canteen so I disconnected the call. Then I called her back in tea break, she was busy with her new show. Today she got a day off so planning for a outing. She said probably Panchi, Arsh and Kinshuk are also coming along with Ali, Sudha and Gurmeet . Prachi (one of my colleague) is giving KT (knowledge transfer) sessions as she will be on leave for next 3 months, so I am not able leave office early :(.

I felt bad as I was not able to go for outing. To make me feel good Saru (Sara’s nick name) sang a song ‘To Make You Feel My Love’. Saru told me that was a Billy Joel song and now sung by Grammy Best New Artist, Adele (…don’t know who are they). That song got me into my romantic mood again :) ... and it dawned upon me how lovely this song was talking about the simple things done just that someone could feel my love. I wonder what people will do so that someone else felt their love...more importantly, who will do that, for me? I downloaded the chords and I will try to play it on guitar.

Cheers,
-K Himaanshu Meehirs' Shukla...

LYRICS :

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love

Unforgettable memories…

Some memories are not to be forgotten. You simply can't forget, even though you have tried so hard, so willingly to let go all your past. But no matter how many times you said goodbye to that past, it keeps coming back to you. No matter how many times you resolutely decide to move on, it keeps haunting you on your sleepless night.

Or maybe it's just me.. I dont know.

-K Himaanshu Meehirs' Shukla

Bayttab dil ki tammana hai

I can't hide the pain...am I weak?

Can't Hide the Pain
Every day when I wake up
I see that nothing's changed
Always the same
Always deranged

I can't hide the pain
It's pulling me
To the ground
I can't hide the pain
It's causing me
To go insane
I can't hide the pain

I try to tell my self
To ignore the pain
But it never goes away

I have my near and dears
But it doesn't stop the pain
that comes when people judge me
It doesn't stop the pain
When people want to drive me insane

I can't hide the pain
It's pulling me
To the ground
I can't hide the pain
It's causing me
To go insane
I can't hide the pain

Missing You...

Today I got so angry...

Today I got so angry, That I almost cried.
Today's the day I realized,That our love has died.

I think of you a lot, In all different ways.
But you never made a call.

I was hoping we would keep in touch,
And stay really good friends.
But it seems you don't care, And now everything's come to an end.

Know that I sit here and ponder, Of what I thought was true.
I finally believed in happiness, I saw it all in you.
But now that you are gone, I wonder if you think of me.
Is your heart broken, Am I ever in your dreams?

You cut things off so suddenly, Like you never even cared.
You once told me you did, But the feelings were never there.

Why would you tell me,The different things you felt.
If in the very end, You left on me a welt.

I don't think you noticed, How much I cared for you.
When we had that conversation, Everything I said was true.

I thought you felt the same, That's what you expressed to me.
But now I know it was a lie. All just painful memories.

Today I got so angry, That I almost cried.
Today's the day I realized, That our love has died.

Time to say Goodbye to a friend...

I was in love with someone from some couple of months. I thought this gal would be in my life forever. She was indeed(that what I think), so I thought, just the perfect person for me. The relationship started out with sweet sms, emails, sketches, poems and numerous acts of kindness.

A close friend of mine told me that she saw her in a cinema hall, where she was sitting on the back sit and making love with a guy. A week back, I went to a McDonald’s where my friend told me to check and I found her sitting close to that guy with hand in hand . This confirmed everything that I had been thinking.

I never wanted to let her go because deep down inside I wanted her to change. Yesterday I saw her with that guy (...who is a big flirt and surely using her) and when I called her that guy picked the call and then forced her to say that she was not intrested in talking to me , I realized that I was fighting a losing battle. Sometimes as a emotional men(...u can say emotional fool), I don’t place high enough value on myself and I settle for gal that I actually don’t belong with.

I had to take a long, good look at myself and ask myself, what was missing in my life that I felt like I needed to continue to be used and abused. Letting go of this relationship is one of the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Each day has been a big “what if.” What if I’m wrong or what if she changes. I am happy to say that I am moving on and if you are in a relationship like this, I encourage you to do the same. Saying goodbye to my lover, colleague and one of my best friend was destructive, but I had to do it. I’ve cried a lot and have been angry at myself for even getting involved with this gal. The warning signs were there and I kept ignoring them. I didn’t realize that I was strong enough to walk away.

If you are reading this blog and you haven’t said goodbye to an unhealthy relationship, you are not alone. You can’t do it alone. It takes prayer and support. I had to move from crying and whining to praising Thakurji (Lord Krishna) for bringing me out of it. Praise makes the heart merry. When I start thinking about it and my heart gets sad, I begin saying Thakurji, “I thank you for delivering me from the death and danger of this relationship. Thank you Thakurji for opening my eyes. Thank you that you are giving me another chance to live my life.” Just as Thakurji has been merciful unto me, he will do the same for you. I like to thank my friends Panchi, Shaky, Ekta, Shwets’, Silvi, Arsh, VJ and Robin for their humble support at this point of time.

It’s time to say goodbye **o*i* (…her pet name).

no Cheers this time,
-K Himaanshu Meehirs'Shukla...

I love the way I can talk to you...

I love the way I can talk to you, And say what's on my mind
I never have to look away Or keep a thing inside

Tears fill my eyes when you're not around Or when you just don't care
But I know in my heart you will do what's right
For me, you will always dare

As long as I have you, You make every day that passes
So much easier to get through

My worries disappear when you're around

I don't care what others are talking about
All I care for is you

I love you for everything that you are, Not what you promise to be
I know you can't see why or how
You're the most important thing to me!!!!!!

Cheers :),
-K Himaanshu Meehirs' Shukla...

Just For A Kiss....

"Oh my God! This is really stupid. I’m so gonna regret for agreeing to do this!" I thought to myself as we sneakily got ourselves crammed into one of the narrow trail room.

Teenagers love and itching on the tree trunks

Spoiling monuments with love messages is a bad habit but wherever you go in India, you will find such scribbling on the walls of ancient structures.

It's a sort of habit for many. Some write their name just for fun. Others do it to see if the name survives for long even if the next visit is several years later. Others do it out of an itch to scribble.

In most parks, you will see the namesof couples written on the trunks of trees. Ravi-Deepika, written in a circle or Pankaj-Priya in the midst of a heart made out of a tree branch or any other pointed metal object.

I have seen couples writing their names. Teenagers avoiding the gaze of the guards to etch their names. Youth often write the name of their beloved along with their name even if there is no hope of union.

Perhaps they get satisfaction with such a declaration at a public place. Telling the nature and the world. There is probably a feeling that the lovers may not get united in real life, but at least, on the tree trunk or the monument the names will remain together for long and for others to see.

Unrequited/ unanswered/ unreturned love is a unique thing in Indian sub-continent. Either it is the concept of a youth wasting his life just for the sake of a girl though he may never have even proposed to her. Or those who manage to get promises of marriage but the girl later goes by her parents' wishes and when she comes back with her husband and kids, she introduces the heart-broken guy to her children saying, 'Mama ji se Namaste karo'. And the mamu remains a joke for the locality forever.

With changing times and the advent of cell phone, this form of love is also changing. Earlier, whenever I went to the parks I could see freshly written names. Lately I have noticed that the trunks of Bargad, Deodar and Asoka trees no longer had any fresh etchings.

The old names were fading away and there was no fresh attempt to write the names. Last week I decided to go to a couple of parks(like Borivali National Park and garden near Bandra Bandstand) where I used to spent time with one of my friend, when I was unemployed and she was struggling model than a two years back.

There were all sorts of couples in the park. But not a single tree had a freshly written name. No recent scratch. In a way it is good to see that the trees are no longer assaulted. In went to the other park and noticed the same thing. In a park in Mumbai early this year, I had noticed it.

It's not that easy to write names though. It takes an effort and time to write the name apart from the fact that one has to be watchful of the security guys. Though the dirty scribblings in the train toilets and similar other graffiti haven't disappeared, but it seems the trees are no longer the targets of lovelorn.

Is it that the present generation has no interest in immortalizing their love or that they feel it's a waste. After all, why affix your name to someone or devote yourself to a single person's love? In the times of electronic mails, SMS and cell phones, it's easy to leave one and latch on to the next, rather that remaining lost in romance for your entire life.

-K Himaanshu Shuklaa..

Copyright © 2011 - ScrutinyByKHimaanshu

My dear friends

A TEAR ON MY PILLOW

A TEAR ON MY PILLOW

by: David G Teves

When I lay and think, in my bed at night,
the day you'll arrive, seems nowhere in sight.

I toss and I turn, dreaming of you,
opening my eye's... checking if my dream came true.

It didn't, again, and a tear starts to roll,
weeping quietly... my pillow I hold.

Many sleepless nights I've prayed for you, my love.

God touched my soul from heaven above
He's answered my prayers for my bride to be.

I've never felt this lucky, God did this for me.

That's a question I asked each and every night.
He must think your special, Joy, and I know he's right.

No other has made me feel so complete,
my whole life was lived, just so we could meet.

All these thoughts and more going through my head.

I fall asleep not worrying, but dreaming of you... instead

~ K Himaanshu Mehers' Shukla...

On a Rainy day...

It is cold outside. The day tenderly overcast. The fluffy, dark clouds look mournful. How I wish it rains now! I want God to be generous and benevolent, however I know when it rains, homeless folks, on the roadway and sidewalks of this huge city, shiver in cold. But I like rains, I like the feeling of getting wet. I cry at times in the godly shower because nobody can see me crying.

I don't have a reason to cry. Still I do. My comrades don't know this side of me. Most of the time, I make them laugh. In cafe's, movie halls clubs and in the office. At home and away. We joke and have fun.

In private at times on dark evenings and rainy days, I sob. I cry for my ex. Her love. She should not have left me like this in a big, bad world. Unloved and unprotected. God, that’s not fair!!!

Cheers :),
-K Himaanshu Meehirs' Shukla

Why Relationship ends....?

Why I Stare at you......?

When I see you, the world stops. It stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you. There’s nothing else, no noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. The world just stops and it is beautiful place and there is only you. Just you and my eyes staring at you.

When you're gone, the world starts again and I don't like it as much. I can live in it, but I don't like it. I just walk around in it and wait to see you again and wait for it to stop again. I love it when it stops. It's the best thing I've ever known or ever felt, the best thing and that is why I stare at you.

Cheers,
~ K Himaanshu Shukla...

Magic in your gmail User Name

What is your gmail ID?

Mine is khimaanshu@gmail.com not just this, but k.himaanshu@gmail.com, khi.maanshu@gmail.com,k.h.i.m.a.a.n.s.h.u@gmail.com and many many more.Total 512 addresses like this.

Got the trick?

The dot in your gmail username is redundant. You can place it anywhere (except starting and ending) or just remove it. All mails addresses are valid.

Hence if you are having 'n' letters in your email addresses, the you actually own ‘2^(n-1)’ distinct email addresses on Google. Isn't that interesting? Digged it a bit and realized its a nice feature. Helpful if you have a website where you are subscribing using trial for few days and login requires a fresh valid mail address.

Now the interesting question is why Google is doing this?

Google’s motto is to organize the world's information. For Google - Mail, Blogger, Orkut, reader, Docs is not just a service. Your user name is a 'profile' which has behaviour which can be learn by machine learning algorithm to display targeted advertisements. Removing non characters is a simplest method to do string matching. Hence it gives Google a chance to unify your different profiles as one. Any more suggestions are welcome.

Cheers,
K Himaanshu Shukla