Epic dialogues from 'Tanu Weds Manu Returns'..

Tanu: Dr. Sahaab, itni happening life thi meri India mein jhand kar di hai iss aadmi ne meri zindagi.

Manu: Kya sex sex? aakhri baar 2013 mein hua tha, woh bhi bhaiya dooj ke din.

Tanu: Gosht haddi chodh raha hai, halat dekhi hai apni. Adrak ho gaya hai yeh aadmi, kahin se bhi badh raha hai..
Manu:Haan toh shaadi se pehle Hrithik Roshan tha kya?

Tanu: Kya Sharma ji, hum thode bewafa kya hue, aap toh baddhchallan hoo gaye..

Datto to Manu: Thari lugayi lage toh maare jaisi par mein thari lugayi na su, mara naam hai Kumari Kusum Sangwan, yo mari saheli Pinky, hum Ramjas college Dilli university mein padon su, sports quotey te admission liya, national level ki athletes su, jila Jhajjar 124507, aur phone number mein dou ko na.

Raja Awasthi: Tum miya biwi jindagi jhand kar di ho humari

Datto To Manu: Kya kar raha tha bayan faila ke, yeh jagah se Shahrukh Khan banan ki?

Pappi: Tum Kya Salman Khan hoo jo commitment issues hai?

Tanu: Nikaala tumne apne bhaiya ko pagaalkhaane se?
Pappi: Woh ticket 60 hazaar ki thi, theek nahi laga seedhe paagalkhaane jaana, socha pehle London ghoom loon.

Tanu to Deepak (rickshaw driver): Bahut ache din they yaar woh, waqt aur umar ne sab barbaad kar dia yaar.

Tanu: Ankita, my dear little Susie kuch nahi, tumhari life sirf  boring hogayi hai, uske liye is 70 kilo ke boredom ko apni chaati mein baithane ki zarurat nahi hai.

Chintu to Manu: Woh aapki shaadi mein apki ghodhi ke sath ek dusri ghodhi bhi aai thi, ji wo ghodhi wapas aagayi hai. Raja Awasthi ka naam to suna hi hoga apne.

Pappi: Agar inn laundo ko pata chal gaya ke hum iss ladkika peecha kar rahe hai...oye hoye maar maar ke peepni bajaa denge.

Pappi: Masoor ki daal mein ajinomoto nahi padta

Raja Awasthi to Manu: Ab utro ghodi se, yahan ek baar ghodhi pe chadhna naseeb nahi hua, ye saley to ghodhe pe hi ghoom rahe hai tabse.

Paayal: Yeh log mardaangi bhi toh sperm count se naapte hai. Ego hurt hoo jaayega..

Chintu to Tanu: Aap is mohalle ki Batman hai apke kisse hi sune hai.

Chintu to Tanu: Hum kya sirf Hero Honda aur ek liter petrol they apke liye jo chhod chhod ke aatey they Raja Awasthi ke paas?

Pappi to Pinky: Pedal Kahan se maru, dono pedal to todh diye..

Raja Awasthi: Eenth se eenth jodne ke liye cement chahiye hota hai ab wo JK ho ya Ambuja humein ghanta farak nhi padhta.

Raja to Tanu: Hum kahe tum nahi tumhare jaise hi sahi, lekin tumhare pati se wo bhi dekha nahi ja raha hai! Saley ko orginal bhi yahi rakhenge, duplicate bhi yahi rakhenge!

Datto's brother to an elder in village: Tau tu kya dinosaur ki biradri kas hai jo teri chori ka byaah kahin aur ho jawega to khatam ho jaoge saare.

Chintu: Bhaiyya hum kandha! Ek biradari hoti hai na laundo ki, hum tab aatey hai jab kanya bahut udaas hoti hai.

Payal to Tannu: Wo badhey daant wali chudhail tera ghar khaa gai aur free mein mera bhi.

Tanu confronting Datto: Awasthi ji apne to kaha tha ki mere jaisi lagti hai Reebok nahi to Rebuk hi sahi.

Datto: Waa dekh kabootar...


Pappi: Hamaari shaadi jo hai na aapki shaadi ke liye demonstartion ka kaam karegi..

Pappi: Yaar ek hii colour ki do Mercedes kyun li?

Manu: Arrey maine apni biwi tak ko hawas ki nazar se nahi dekha, dusro ko kya dekhuga main..

Chintu: Hasrat-e-lucknow, basrate-e-kanpur, surmayi hai Bareilly aur katilana Rampur..

Datto: Pichli lugai ke plaster toote nahi abhi, aur aa gaye sand se ladne

-K Himaanshu Shukla...